


Strong Too Long

by reigningqueenofwords



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 03:22:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17399099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reigningqueenofwords/pseuds/reigningqueenofwords
Summary: Request: Anonymous. Hey! I was wondering if I could have something about where the reader is just fine with staying at the bunker and cooking and cleaning and being there for them emotionally and even though she’s not an active hunter which can make her look weak she has a really strong character but is soft at the same time and the boys love it. One day something happens that makes her break and she starts sobbing and the boys don’t know what to do cuz she’s always so strong. She gets depressed and they help her.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Request: Anonymous. Hey! I was wondering if I could have something about where the reader is just fine with staying at the bunker and cooking and cleaning and being there for them emotionally and even though she’s not an active hunter which can make her look weak she has a really strong character but is soft at the same time and the boys love it. One day something happens that makes her break and she starts sobbing and the boys don’t know what to do cuz she’s always so strong. She gets depressed and they help her.

Although you were probably the farthest thing from a hunter that you could possibly be, you lived with two of the best there was. Sam and Dean Winchester. You balanced them out. They would go on hunts, saving the world, saving innocent people, and dealing with things that would most grown men piss their pants. You kept the bunker feeling like home by cooking for them, cleaning, and making sure that nothing started growing in places that weren’t really used all that much (like that random bathroom that was in such an odd spot).

You considered yourself emotionally strong. You had to be when you lived with them. Many nights they had come home beat up, bloody, and a hell of a lot worse for the wear. That came with what they did. 

Burdening with anything you were feeling wasn’t something that you wanted to do. So, you kept busy. You made sure things were perfect on the days that they came home. You would stock up on Oxy Clean (and cross your fingers that their clothes were salvageable…shopping for them was the worst).

Sam had failed to warn you about Dean. He’d been hit with a (temporary) spell. Long story short- he was a dick. He said the worst things. Cas assured you that it would wear off in a day or two. Until then, you were forced to put up with his mouth. A few times you were tempted to knock him out.  

Slowly, it chipped at you. He’d make little comments here and there. Comments about how they kept you around because you were hot, how you were delusional if they thought they would ever really care about you. Sam felt bad, because this was bad.

The second night, you crawled into bed and cried. Which wasn’t you. Dean finally got to you. His words kept playing over and over in your head, and this time, Sam wasn’t there to make him stop.

Dean smirked at you, and you knew something was about to come from his mouth that would eat at you. He stopped you from moving, his eyes locking on yours. “You’re weak, you know that? You hide away in here, pretending to be useful. If we needed you, you’d be less than helpful. Keep telling yourself that you matter, sweetheart.” He walked away, amused with himself.

* * *

Sam jerked awake at the sound of sobbing. Normally, in the bunker, he slept like a rock. But sobbing wasn’t something that was a normal sound. He bolted from his bed, meeting Dean in the hallway.

Together, they ran to your room. Quietly, Sam peeked in. There you were, clutching your pillow and sobbing. In all the years they had known you, you had not cried unless you were truly physically hurt. They knew you weren’t.

Dean stepped in. “Sweetheart?”

At your voice, you froze. Looking over to him, you broke out in a fresh bout of sobs, making you hyperventilate. Dean tried to move forward again, and his heart broke when you pulled away from him.

Sam tried, and you clung to him. He gave Dean a sad smile before the eldest Winchester went back to his own room, confused.

* * *

The next morning, the boys were confused. Most mornings, they would find you in the kitchen making breakfast, dancing to the radio. The kitchen was dead silent, a pin could be heard dropping to the floor. As opposed to bothering you, the boys made themselves breakfast.

However, when lunch came around, and neither had heard, or seen, you, they caved. They made their way to your room, Sam stepping in first. You were simply lying on your side, staring at the wall. “Y/N?” Sam asked gently.

“Go away, Sam.” Your voice was broken.

“What happened?” He sat next to you, rubbing your back.

You sniffled. “Ask Dean.”

Sam’s head shot up, looking at his brother. Dean shrugged. “I don’t know what I did. One minute we’re ganking that witch, the next I’m waking up to her sobbing.” He explained.

“Just go.” You said with a sigh. “It doesn’t matter.” You shrugged. “I don’t matter.”

He cupped your face and made you look at him, his hazel eyes soft. “You matter. So much. We are here for you, for whatever you need.” He reassured you. “We will not let you go through this alone.”


	2. Forgiving Dean

**Dean’s POV**  
It killed me. Every time I walked into a room, you were become a shell of yourself. You looked almost fearful of me. What did I say to you? What had I done in the time between the hunt, and you waking us up sobbing? Every morning I woke up, wanting to pull you close and beg for your forgiveness. And then I’d see you, and my resolve would shatter. I couldn’t get within a few feet of you without you shrinking away from me.

I knew that Sam saw the pain in my eyes. I could tell when I’d look over and see that look on his face. Seeing that made my chest clench, knowing that I was the one who broke you. More and more, I avoided you. Just so I didn’t make things worse, and so I didn’t feel my heart break more and more.

A week after you woke us up, I heard your laughter echo through the bunker. It was like the sound my ears had been hungering for. Getting up off the bed, I followed it. My feet moved quicker, running through the halls. I found you in the library, laughing at something on the laptop. When she looked up at saw me, for a split second, it was like you were smiling at me. Just for a moment…I felt hope.

And then it fell. The sadness returned, and the beautiful sound of your laughter was gone. My brother was picking up the pieces, my brother was by your side, building back up the beautifully strong woman that you truly were.

Licking my lips, I slowly moved forward. “Y/N.” I said softly, seeing you swallow. You were scared. “I-I don’t know what I did. I don’t know what I said, but I will do anything to make it up to you.” I moved around the table, kneeling next to your chair. “Please, I’m begging you…Tell me what I said, what I did. Tell me so I can make it up to you.” I held your hands gently in mine.

* * *

 **Reader’s POV**  
I wasn’t blind. I saw how it hurt him, how my fear killed him. The pain clouded over his eyes like never before. Oh, how I tried. I tried to remember that it wasn’t him. I tried to forget the words, the look in his eyes while he said them.

Sitting in the library, I was watching random clips on Sam’s laptop, laughing, when I noticed Dean. For just a moment, the memory of that time didn’t raise to the surface. And then it all came crashing down. My eyes followed him as he moved around the table, forcing myself to stay put. I forced myself to see the Dean that I used to see.

He was begging in a tone that I’d never heard before. Begging for me to tell him the things he said. Taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth to finally tell him. To finally open up. “Said you only keep me around because I’m hot, that you’d never care about me.” I told him quietly. “But what did me in was…’You’re weak, you know that? You hide away in here, pretending to be useful. If we needed you, you’d be less than helpful. Keep telling yourself that you matter, sweetheart.’ And then  you walked away.” My eyes closed, not wanting to see the guilt wash over his face.

* * *

 **Sam’s POV**  
Dean wasn’t the same after everything. Guilt ate at him, getting worse day by day. Every time I saw him he looked a little less like my brother. I barely saw him out of his room, and when I did, he was more like the living dead than everything.

I left to go get some groceries, figuring the fresh air would do me some good. I kept the windows down, letting the air clear my head.

Before I knew it, I was walking back into the bunker. Hearing Dean’s voice, I set the bags down and followed it. His voice wasn’t something I heard often. I found him in the library. “Uh, Dean?” I asked, slowly walking in.

Dean glanced over to me, looking hopeful. “Yeah?”

“Who are you talking to?” I asked softly.

He stood up, looking at me like I was on drugs. “Y/N. I’m finally getting her to talk to me. She’s telling me what I said.”

Oh, this was gonna suck. “Dean…” I took a deep breath. “Y/N died. Six months ago on a hunt.”

“I’m talking to her righ-” I watched as he turned, seeing an empty chair. Looking around, he looked under the table, and around the room. “This isn’t funny, guys.” He sounded panicked.

“She forgave you, Dean. And then we went on a hunt a couple days later.” I explained. “She didn’t come home.”

Dean looked like he was gonna be sick, leaning on a chair, falling to the ground. “No. No. It’s only been a week…” He breathed. “Nope. She’s fine. She’s around here, safe, and I just gotta talk to her. Right, Sammy?” His voice cracked. “Come on, Sammy. T-tell me that she’s fine.”

I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Dean.”  


End file.
